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This post contains excerpts from The Tapping Solution for Parents, Children and Teenagers.

Teens Manage Anger with Tapping

Isani had been in the foster system for several years. Angry with his mother, and suffering from neglect at home, even small provocations tended to throw him into a rage. On this particular day the school counselor had been called because Isani’s outbursts were disrupting his 12th grade classroom.

After several minutes spent convincing Isani that he had to come to the counselor’s office to talk, they both sat down. As soon as the counselor asked what had happened, Isani exploded.

Yelling as he told the story, he explained that a classmate had insulted him, and he’d had enough. To make matters worse, he hadn’t slept the night before because something had happened to his grandmother.

As soon as he paused to take a breath, the counselor asked Isani if he’d be willing to do some Tapping. He nodded slightly. He was skeptical, but willing to try it. Since the counselor couldn’t address the numerous issues Isani was facing outside of school, she focused their Tapping on his anger toward the classmate who had triggered him that day.

Within moments, Isani’s anger went from a 10 out of 10 down to a 2 out of 10. The difference in his demeanor was remarkable. Suddenly calm and focused, he recalled the insult from his classmate and shrugged. The emotional charge was so minimal, it barely even registered.

Continued Relief from Tapping

Several weeks later, Isani told the school counselor that he’d been Tapping at night before bed. He was sleeping much more soundly than he had in years, and it was helping him to manage his anger also.

Considering how much adversity Isani had been facing, it’s incredible that he’s been able to improve his sleep. The physical and emotional benefits of improved sleep alone are enough to change his life. Just as important, he now understands that he has the power to transform his emotions and experiences. That knowledge alone can and will change his life forever.

This story, shared by a high school counselor, is another great example of how useful Tapping is for releasing our most “explosive” emotions.

You can find this tapping diagram, along with many other free resources, by visiting our collection of parent and teacher items here.

Tapping Script: Releasing Anger (Middle School & High School Ages)

Children & Teens in middle and high school often cling to rebellion. In addition to social pressure and the many other changes they’re navigating, they’re also facing challenges at home. The best thing you as a parent, teacher or counselor can do is to give them an experience of Tapping. For Isani that single experience quickly became a way to self-regulate on a daily basis.

Let’s do some Tapping on helping your child to release anger when it arises. To begin, have him or her rate the intensity of his/her anger on a scale of 0 to 10.

If you can, ask them to take a deep breath. Then begin Tapping:

Karate Chop (Repeat 3 times): Even though I feel all this anger boiling inside me, I’m great and I accept how I feel.

Eyebrow: So much anger
Side of Eye: All this anger inside me
Under Eye: I can feel it in my body
Under Nose: So much anger in me
Under Mouth: It feels bigger than me
Collarbone: Like an explosion that’s about to go off
Under Arm: So much anger in me
Top of Head: I can feel it now

Eyebrow: This big, hot anger in me
Side of Eye: I can feel it in my body now
Under Eye: Feeling this anger now
Under Nose: And letting it go
Under Mouth: Letting myself feel it now
Collarbone: And then letting it go
Under Arm: I can release this anger now
Top of Head: And allow myself to feel calm inside

Eyebrow: I can feel quiet and calm now
Side of Eye: Releasing any leftover anger now
Under Eye: Feeling calm and quiet inside
Under Nose: Feeling calm in my body
Under Mouth: And quiet in my mind
Collarbone: Letting any remaining anger go now
Under Arm: Allowing myself to relax
Top of Head: Feeling peaceful in mind and body now

Ask your child to rate his/her anger now on a scale of 0 to 10. Keep Tapping on his/her anger, and any other related issues that came up while Tapping, for as long as s/he is willing, or until s/he gets the desired relief.

Quick Tapping Tips:

Tapping is especially powerful in the heat of the moment, when anger (or another emotion) is at its peak. If that’s not possible, ask your child to recall a time when they felt angry.

Use their words whenever you can.

If/when they’re willing, let them do the talking while they tap.

Avoid power struggles by respecting their boundaries, even when that means not Tapping at a time when they may need to.

Can I use Tapping for…?

In The Tapping Solution for Parents, Children and Teenagers  you can read how Tapping can be used for many of your child’s needs, such as anxiety, impulsivity, social concerns, and MANY more!

Whether your child, or student, is dealing with common social issues, school-related anxiety, or a specific diagnosis, this book will support you in understanding your role and providing specific tools to encourage success and lifelong achievement.

The best part is that with every purchase of this book, 100% of the proceeds, in perpetuity, will be donated to The Tapping Solution Foundation to continue bringing free EFT Tapping resources to schools and families, and providing trauma relief around the world.

Until next time…

Keep Tapping!

Nick Ortner

The Tapping Solution Foundation provides free resources to communities all over the world, including supporting schools & families, and providing trauma relief.

Read our collection of testimonials from individuals who have benefited from the power of Tapping & the support of our Foundation.

Tapping in Schools

“This is the greatest gift as an educator.”

“My name is Gia Nelson and I’ve been using tapping in the classroom for almost 5 years now. The impact it has had on my life, my students lives and even my family, is incredible. Being able to refocus my students, calm anxieties, and help manage students emotions has changed the way I teach and the way kids learn when they are under my care. Some of my students have even been using the technique in everyday life outside the classroom. This is the greatest gift as an educator. I know I’m making a difference in many lives because I see evidence within minutes of tapping in the classroom! Children focus better, feel calmer and safer after we tap. I’ve even noticed they feel more normal, more sympathetic towards each other and themselves. I’m so grateful to have this tool as an educator and as a human!”

Ms. Gia’s students share about how they use Tapping to persevere and manage their feelings. 

“A raíz de la erupción del volcán de fuego, una de las secuelas que dejó  a Velvet quien cursa Primero Primaria a pesar que no estuvo directamente en el desastre,  fue afectada emocionalmente, por lo cual se atendió apoyándola con la técnica de Liberación Emocional Tapping, lo cual ha logrado superar el temor que tenia a que la lava llegara a su casa.”

Bullies are made, not born, and yet, many of us, quite understandably, struggle to feel compassion for them. What then happens is that bullies lose their voice, often even their right to speak, except when they’re behaving like bullies.

So what happens when we go out of our way to give bullies a voice – and then, a chance to heal from the pain that is causing them to behave like bullies? It was the question The Tapping Solution Foundation got an opportunity to answer when we first began working with Shyla.

During her last year in middle school, Shyla had suddenly turned into a dark, brooding teenager. Now in high school, her grades had been on a downward spiral, and nearly every week she was being sent to the principal’s office for bullying.

Prone to rage-fueled outbursts, Shyla had become a source of disruption and frustration for teachers and administrators alike. Unfortunately, the ongoing negative attention she was getting – in the form of school detention, reprimands, and more – only seemed to worsen her attitude, behavior, and performance.

What few at her school initially realized was that Shyla’s transformation had taken place soon after a shooting had taken place at her former school. Forced to remain still and quiet in the dark for five agonizingly long hours of city-wide lockdown, Shyla, then a middle schooler, had huddled alone under a desk listening for gunshots while helicopters flew overhead and sirens blared nearby.

Although she had survived that day, all these years later Shyla was being haunted by the trauma of that experience. To make matters worse, Shyla’s family life was unpredictable. Whether at home or school, Shyla felt she had nowhere to turn for support and guidance.

Fortunately, one administrator at her current school looked into Shyla’s history. After realizing that Shyla had been caught in that shooting, the school reached out to The Tapping Solution Foundation, which is increasingly being recognized for the success of its trauma relief programs in schools nationwide.

Soon after sitting down with Shyla, it was clear to Lori Leyden, Director of The Tapping Solution Foundation that Shyla was suffering from untreated Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) incurred during the school shooting.

After explaining how tapping accesses the amygdala in the brain and then lowers cortisol levels in the body, Lori asked how her body feels when she’s overcome by rage. Shyla described a burning sensation in her stomach, and an inability to think before acting out her rage.

Hoping to motivate her to do trauma-healing work, Lori asked Shyla what her goal was. Kids who are labeled as “bullies” are often punished, but rarely asked what they want or how they feel, so giving Shyla a voice in the process was critical. “I want to improve my grades so I can transfer to the school I want to go to,” Shyla replied without hesitation.

While many of her teachers saw Shyla as an out of control problem student, it was clear that Shyla had done extensive independent research about attending this one specific school. In order to attend that school, however, she had to maintain a higher grade point average and receive positive reviews from teachers.

With that long-term goal clearly in mind, Lori then asked Shyla to focus on a petty annoyance she’d recently experienced. Before diving into trauma healing work, it’s important to experience some kind of results from tapping, as those initial results make people more invested in the process.

Shyla’s petty annoyance had happened a few days earlier, when her sister had borrowed Shyla’s favorite shirt without asking. Using that event as a starting point, Lori led Shyla through a few rounds of tapping. Within just a few minutes, Shyla could recall the event without feeling any irritation. She also shared that her body felt more relaxed.

Over a period of several weeks, Lori had weekly tapping sessions with Shyla, focusing on clearing the emotional intensity of her memories of the school shooting. When the focus turned to Shyla’s bullying behavior, it became clear that she, like many kids, had only begun bullying others after being continually bullied by a small group of students at her current school.

Her bullying was a coping strategy, a way to appear tough so that she herself would no longer be harassed.

There had been one especially traumatic day when a student had called her fat, and then ripped her shirt and pushed her into a nearby crowd to be publicly mocked. Just recalling that day, Shyla could feel rage burning in her stomach before racing up into her head. With that memory fresh in her mind, it took just two rounds of tapping to get Shyla’s rage from a 10 out of 10 down to a 2.

After releasing the emotional charge from these events and others, Shyla once again became a different kid. This time, however, the transformation was a reflection of her positive mental and emotional well-being. The next time she was bullied, instead of lashing out in rage, she stayed calm. She also reported the bullying to school administrators.

Her goal of getting into the other school was so important to her that, for the first time ever, Shyla was willing to risk being called a “tattle tale.”

Since then, Shyla has become a leader at her school. Teachers and administrators alike now see her as an example of the transformation they want to see in other students.

Once she’d used tapping to heal from the trauma of the school shooting she’d survived, Shyla no longer needed to use bullying behavior to defend herself. Instead, she can rely on positive forms of leadership to move her life and school community forward.

By giving Shyla a chance to heal and reclaim her voice, Shyla could see that she didn’t have to be victim to others’ bullying. Nor did she need to use bullying behaviors to protect herself. What a difference!

I’m thrilled to share that The Tapping Solution Foundation is doing this kind of work at a growing number of schools around the country, helping students, teachers and administrators to heal from trauma, and to support them all in fostering a positive environment for learning and social/emotional development. Just imagine what could happen if all children everywhere had easy access to the kind of healing that Shyla and her school community received.

Download Your Free Tapping Quickstart Guide for Educators:

How do you tell parents that their elementary school child was just shot to death at school? That was the challenge facing Dan, one of first responders at the Sandy Hook Elementary school shooting that tragically took the lives of twenty children and six adults on December 14, 2012. Although trained to deliver this kind of news, Dan’s memories of that day had haunted him in the years since.

When Dan first sat down with Lori Leyden, Director of The Tapping Solution Foundation, they began tapping on the trauma of that day. Dan was suffering from a mental replay loop he couldn’t stop – images from the school that day, as well as the looks on parents’ faces when he delivered the tragic news about their children.

After a few rounds of tapping through those traumatic memories, Dan recalled a pivotal moment from his early childhood. It was the day when his mother had sat him down to tell him that his brother had been killed in a car accident. He’d never forgotten the look on his mother’s face that day. It was the same look he’d seen on the Sandy Hook parents’ faces.

While tapping, Dan realized that he’d made a promise to himself very early in life – that he would do anything, including abandoning himself and his emotions, to avoid seeing the look he’d seen on his mother’s face on anyone else, ever. As a result, when he’d seen that same look on the Sandy Hook parents’ faces, it had re-ignited the trauma of his brother’s young death.

As Dan continued tapping through these traumatic memories, he realized that the anger he’d been holding in since his brother’s death had been limiting his ability to feel joy. All these years, his energy had been consumed by keeping that anger inside, and as a result, he’d experienced ongoing challenges in his marriage, and in his relationships at work.

Once Dan had tapped through his anger, he no longer felt burdened by repressed emotions. He soon began to open up to the idea of feeling more love and connection with his wife, and with the children who had been lost during the Sandy Hook shootings.

Even as adults few things limit us more than unresolved childhood trauma. When those deep wounds are finally healed, the transformation that happens is profound and sweeping. Relationships improve, careers take off, and most importantly, people’s sense of their own value and worth returns. As was the case for Dan, daily life becomes an entirely new experience, and in all the right ways. J

So often, though, people get stuck before they take that critical first step – reaching out for help in releasing trauma. If you or a loved one is struggling to seek support in overcoming a childhood (or adulthood) trauma, here’s a short tapping script that may prove helpful:

First, take 3 deep breaths and notice how much resistance you feel around seeking out support in overcoming the trauma you or a loved one survived. Give that resistance a number on a scale of 0 – 10, with 10 being the highest intensity resistance you can imagine.

We’ll begin by tapping three times on the Karate Chop point:

KC: Even though I don’t want to face what happened, it’s just too terrifying, I accept how I feel.

KC: Even though I can’t seek out support to overcome this trauma, I just can’t face it, the pain is too great, I accept how I feel.

KC: Even though I can’t face this, it’s too excruciating and I really can’t look at it too closely, I accept how I feel.

Eyebrow: I just can’t face this
Side of Eye: It’s too much
Under Eye: I can’t look at this
Under Nose: I need to push it away
Under Mouth: This is too terrifying for me to look at
Collarbone: So many emotions I can’t face
Under Arm: This trauma is bigger than me
Top of Head: I just can’t face it

Eyebrow: There’s so much tied to this trauma
Side of Eye: I feel paralyzed when I think of it
Under Eye: I just want to push it away
Under Nose: But pushing it away isn’t working
Under Mouth: I can’t seem to get rid of it
Collarbone: I know I can’t release it on my own
Under Arm: But I’m so scared to seek out support
Top of Head: I’m so scared what will happen if I face this

Eyebrow:  I know I need to, though
Side of Eye: I know I can’t do this on my own
Under Eye: I know I need help
Under Nose: I want help
Under Mouth: But it’s so scary to seek it out
Collarbone: Maybe that’s okay
Under Arm: Maybe it’s normal to be afraid
Top of Head: Maybe I can seek out support anyway

Eyebrow: Maybe I can face what happened
Side of Eye: And my first step can be to seek out support
Under Eye: It’s okay that part of me is resisting this
Under Nose: I can still seek out support
Under Mouth: I can seek out support for overcoming what happened
Collarbone: I can allow myself that opportunity to let go of this
Under Arm: I don’t have to let this fear stop me
Top of Head: Allowing myself to feel safe in seeking out support now

Take a deep breath and check in with your resistance to seeking out support from overcoming trauma now. Where is it on a scale of 0 – 10 now? Continue tapping, if you like.